WOLF SPIDERS

Nasty big creatures.  i can't stand them.  i was all alone last night with my dog and my baby girl.  my husband was still at work.  the spider was creeping quickly up the wall.  it was HUGE!!  i had to be strong and brave.  i knew there wouldn't be time to wait for Kurtis to get home.  i screamed and grabbed a sandal that was closest to the spider.  i took a huge swing and BAM..............i thought it definitely had to be dead.  suddenly i realized the spider went flying through the air and disappeared.  oh no.......................it was probably still alive and i was all alone.  what was i going to do?  i called my mom who lives 2 hours away.  i don't know why i did this.  what was she going to be able to do from 2 hours away??  she wasn't home.   suddenly i saw that nasty creature come crawling up the stair rail.  i grabbed the sandal again when he slid his way into a crevice in the stair banister.  now i guess he lives there.  he better not come back out again.  i only hope kurtis will be here to protect me next time.

i never realized how much i could love a little human being like i love my daughter.  it is amazing.  i put her to bed tonight and could barely place her little body down in the crib.  i just wanted to hold on tightly to her forever in that very moment.  i love the smell of her head, the grasp of her hand on my hair, and the way she clings so closely to me. 

i am thankful for my dear husband.  he is such a great father and he has also been so supportive and encouraging of me and all the changes i have been through.  he is studying right now..........just started up classes again for the first time since we have had the baby.  it is going to be hard to get used to him having to spend so much time with work and school, but i know it will be worth it in the end. 

tomorrow is my first day back to work.  i don't know what to think of it.  i am excited to continue on with some relationships that had been started before i had my baby, but i am very sad to leave her.  i am only working 8 hours per week (4 hours in 2 days), so it is not like I will be gone from her for lots of hours, but i am still going to miss her very much.  i have been with her 24/7 since birth.

i have prayed a lot about this and i know it is the right decision for us.  i jsut pray that tomorrow i will not break down and cry.  i want to be strong.  once i get into the routine, i am sure it will get a lot easier.  i praise the lord for the way he has provided this job, for the extra money it will bring in, and for the perfect hours that it is.  god is so good.